How to Stay Confident When Life Gets Tough
When you aim for a big goal (or even not so big) you can expect to have challenges along the way. Some of these challenges are easy to cope with. Others can be so large that they make us question whether we have what it takes to overcome them.
It’s not a question of whether you will have problems along the way. The real question is how you will deal with them.
So what should you do, when you feel confidence draining and doubt taking over?
When the Going gets Tough, Remember your Successes.
The key is to remember all the times that you were successful and were able to overcome challenges. When you remind yourself of previous successes you re-focus on your strengths. Past successes serve as proof that you have the ability to succeed. If you can recall times when your problems seemed overwhelming but you managed to get through it, then coping with your present difficulties may not seem so impossible.
Most of all, remembering your successes restores your confidence and self-belief: essential ingredients for coping with challenges.
Sadly, when things get tough that’s often the time when we forget all of our previous victories in life. It’s very easy in the heat of the moment to make a blanket statement like: “I’ve never succeeded in anything in my life!” And the minute you start feeling like that, your confidence leaks away and things become even more difficult.
So instead of trying to think up successes after things have gotten tough, why not write them down ahead of time?
Try this:
1. Write down any successes you have achieved in your life. And I mean all of them! Go back to when you were born and work forward!
2. Write down any difficult problems that you have managed to overcome in your life. No problem is too small to write down.
3. Write down any compliments that anyone has ever given you. No comment is too trivial. Even “I like that tie” counts.
And remember, the more the merrier. The aim is to write down so many successes that it becomes overwhelming proof. I’m talking 50-100 successes, but more is ideal.
Once you have a nice long list, carry it around with you everywhere. Look at it at least once a day. Re-live and celebrate your successes. It will provide you with inspiration when things are going well and “insulation” when things aren’t going so well. Either way, it will drive you on to more success.
Remember to ask family & friends what they think your successes have been because our own high standards can subjectively mask achievements rated more objectively by others as glorious deeds.
[Reply]
Comment by martin — May 12, 2009 @ 7:37 pm
This is very good advice. I have found that many of the goals I accomplish seem to take around 100 tries per one success. It can be very easy to get discouraged, especially if your first success happened 25 tries into that hundred and the next one happens at 98 into the next hundred. I just keep focusing on the previous success, but writing them down sounds much more inspiring.
[Reply]
Comment by Tina T — May 13, 2009 @ 1:43 pm
[...] 3. Review Previous Successes You know all about the value of acknowledging your successes from reading this. [...]
Pingback by Kaizan Blog » 6 Habits to Start the Day With — May 14, 2009 @ 7:05 am
[...] the best thing to do is write down your successes. This article is a good summary of the concept: The Kaizan Blog
Pingback by What do you do on days.. — June 5, 2009 @ 1:05 pm
[...] an earlier blog post we talked about the value of writing down your successes. Unfortunately since then, some people have told me that they really struggled to come up with a [...]
Pingback by The Kaizan Blog » Are you a success? — June 15, 2009 @ 11:36 am
I was feeling down today, and this article really cheered me up. i know that when I feel down I dont remember all the successes I have had. thanks for a great post.
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Comment by Brian — June 30, 2009 @ 10:05 am
This is such a good idea. I need to get writing!
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Comment by Neal — July 18, 2009 @ 9:34 am
I did this about 3 years ago and I go back to that list again and again! I can say from the perspective of “been there done that” that it works if you do it.
I added one little twist to it, in that I memorized my “top ten” and review them mentally from time to time when I need a little shot of confidence or motivation.
Great article!
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Comment by Wayne Key — August 24, 2009 @ 5:13 pm
Great simple little idea. keeping a list of successes to refer to. Nice!
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Comment by Russ Smith — August 28, 2009 @ 3:11 pm