Kaizan Blog

“Man is troubled not by events, but by the meaning he gives them.” Epictetus - 1st century AD

By now, most people are pretty familiar with the idea that it’s not what happens to you, it’s how you interpret it that determines your happiness.

For example, two people suffer a relationship break up. One looks on it as the end of the world as we know it. The other looks on it as an opportunity for freedom and excitement. Same event. Two different ways of looking at it. Consequently two very different emotions arise from the same situation. So there is no such thing as a “bad” event, if you have a positive interpretation of it.

But while people may accept this as true in a  hypothetical example, they will often look at their own lives and say “But in my case, I can’t choose to interpret this in any other way. The fact is…”

But how true is this? There are many examples in history where even “facts” acknowledged by experts and society at large were proven to be wrong (earth is flat, Y2K, Decca records telling the Beatles in 1962 that “guitar groups are on the way out”). Experts and society often get things wrong. But what about you personally? How often do you misinterpret situations?

“I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” Mark Twain

Like Mark Twain,  a lot of us often assume that the worst thing is going to happen and we are often wrong. We are also notoriously bad at predicting the significance of certain events. How often has the worst thing that ever happened to you, actually turned out to  be the best thing that ever happened to you?

And how often have you interpreted someone’s actions wrongly because you didn’t have all the information? Many of us can recall times when we thought someone was being rude or difficult only to discover later that they were actually upset over something that was happening in their own lives.

The point is, we often don’t know the correct interpretation of a particular situation, and yet we continue to insist that we have interpreted the situation correctly and that we are justified in feeling angry, sad or disappointed.

So, when faced with a situation, rather than opt for what may or may not be the correct interpretation (you’re probably wrong anyway):

Go for the explanation that serves you the best.

Let’s take the example of the credit crunch / recession. Two beliefs could be:

1. The economy is falling apart. We’re in for years of misery.

2. This is a time with huge opportunities and I could make use of them in a way I couldn’t have before

One of these beliefs is correct. Perhaps it is the first one, I dont know. But if you were to assume the first one, you would do nothing except possibly lie on your bedroom floor in the fetal position. If you assumed the second belief was true you would be much more likely to get out there and be proactive. Which one would serve you best, even if it wasnt correct? Clearly the second one.

You DONT know what the facts are. You are often wrong. So don’t go on “facts”. Interpret events in the way that serves you best.